Student Blog: How I Deal With Rejection
How I cope when rejection strikes.
By: Student Blogger: Alexa Malerba Aug. 31, 2024
Imagine applying for a job you really want. You are invited to an interview, but unfortunately, you receive an email afterward saying you were not selected to move forward. The feeling of rejection is difficult, to say the least. It can be heartbreaking when you're not selected for any opportunity you really want. Whether it’s a job, an audition for a school musical, or anything in between, getting rejected can be painful. It may even seem impossible to cope with at first. However, I can assure you—as someone who’s been rejected many times—that it is not the end of the world. When I’m faced with rejection, I have various coping mechanisms that help me deal with the situation. I hope that my process can help you too!
When faced with rejection, I first allow myself to feel whatever emotions arise. I don’t suppress those emotions: instead, I let myself feel upset, angry, sad, or whatever it is that I feel in the moment. However, I don’t let myself get carried away. For example, if I’m angry, I’ll allow myself to feel that way, but I won’t take it out on others. It’s important to express your emotions, but not in a way that harms others. It’s also okay to cry if you’re feeling dejected. Whatever emotions you’re feeling, it’s healthy to let them out.
After I’ve dealt with my emotions, I will try to distract myself. I’ll listen to music, go for a walk, or do anything that gets my mind off of my emotions. While I do believe it’s important to feel your emotions, it isn’t healthy to dwell on the event for too long either. Distracting myself is essential, as it gets my mind off of my strong emotions so that I can move forward with the next step.
Finally, once I am mentally prepared to do so, I will take some time to reflect. What went well? What didn’t? How can I improve? This is an important step for me as it helps me work on my skills so that I receive fewer rejections in the future. Without reflecting, I will continue to make the same mistakes, which will stunt my growth as a person. While it can be a hard step, it is essential for you to reflect so you can improve.
Overall, there are many ways to deal with rejection. Ultimately, I recommend finding the coping mechanisms that work best for you, but remember not to let yourself spiral out of control. Rejection is a very normal part of life, so it’s best to learn sooner rather than later how to deal with it. Don't let it consume you because there will be other opportunities in the future. Regardless, I wish you nothing but the best in life!
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It's also very important to realize that you were not picked (I use that instead of rejected) due to many things beyond your control. I sit behind the desk as well as audition in front of it, and when you get a chance to be one of the auditioners, it will open up your eyes a bit more and make you feel less like you are "rejected". Example: "She's too tall for the leading man we already cast" or "She's great, but just doesn't have the quality we are looking for in this character" (you can't improve on these two by the way...they just are). There are so many other reasons you may come close but aren't cast and they are not your fault! At the end of the day, those that keep showing up, improving their skill set and most of all, don't take it personally ever...will start getting noticed and then cast. It takes a good five years to settle in to the NY scene so don't try it for a year and quit. You need to build up your credits and also your stamina! Audition for as many things as you are right for per week and then the "rejections" don't smart so badly. You hardly remember them. Take roles in smaller places and then participate in Readings to build up your creds but also your contact and reference lists. That's my two or three cents! - Kristin Huffman